twenty-three

i fall yet again. falling and falling. again. and again. it's the sense of loss. the sense of life... draining away.


***


twenty-three is young. Younger than what? Why do I feel old? Why do I meet people and feel that I've met them before? Why do I shed tears of longing, sadness, and the lightness of being me?


***


today, i felt like screaming. i felt that i wanted to die. i felt that i wanted to rip my wrists open and bleed.
and i had to press my palms to my jaw to supress the word "twenty-three".


i am but i am not. i think of the sand and the sea. i think of the smell of brine and sun. but i also think of emptiness and drabness. i think of anger and hypocrisy. i am but i am not.


***


But they say, this ,too, shall pass.