To the United-jersey-wearing guy who claimed to be a United fan but who can't tell who Valencia is over Nani and to the Arsenal-jersey-wearing guy who kept declaring to anyone who cared to listen how he hates Van Persie but didn't actually watch the match between City and Arsenal: I wish you the Judas chair.
You almost ruined the match for me.
You almost ruined the match for me.
I have been working in the same company for the past four years, and I liked it. Liked. I moved to a department I have always wanted to work in ever since I joined the company. I have been surrounded with people who are Now, I have moved to another department again, and I hate every single second of it. It's like my first company all over again.
It's not the work. I am a lazy person, but when I like what I do, I really don't mind having to work like an ant. I work not just hard, but I work smart. I don't say yes I can do it. I first ask why and then determine whether it's effective or not. Then, I do it. I'm no yes man but I produce results. I don't waste resources. It has been a rewarding experience.
I talk about that all in the past because things are changing. They're changing for the worst. I hate everything about it. I hate a culture of mediocrity and stupidity. I hate a culture of intellectual stasis. And most of all, I hate a culture of bragging without rights.
When you feel you've earned bragging rights, always look at the bigger picture. What if the achievement you deemed was exemplary was actually mediocre and trivial compared to everyone else's? When those who've achieved so much didn't make a mountain out of a mole hill and you did, doesn't that make you ignorant?
I feel like updating my resume. I have yet to finish my Education course, and I haven't evens tarted on my Masters. That's four years more I think. Hang in there.
It's not the work. I am a lazy person, but when I like what I do, I really don't mind having to work like an ant. I work not just hard, but I work smart. I don't say yes I can do it. I first ask why and then determine whether it's effective or not. Then, I do it. I'm no yes man but I produce results. I don't waste resources. It has been a rewarding experience.
I talk about that all in the past because things are changing. They're changing for the worst. I hate everything about it. I hate a culture of mediocrity and stupidity. I hate a culture of intellectual stasis. And most of all, I hate a culture of bragging without rights.
When you feel you've earned bragging rights, always look at the bigger picture. What if the achievement you deemed was exemplary was actually mediocre and trivial compared to everyone else's? When those who've achieved so much didn't make a mountain out of a mole hill and you did, doesn't that make you ignorant?
I feel like updating my resume. I have yet to finish my Education course, and I haven't evens tarted on my Masters. That's four years more I think. Hang in there.
I'm 24 turning 25 months from now. When I compare myself with some of the 24-year-olds that I know, I feel old in many ways. Sometimes I think, I shouldn't have read that many books. There are 24-year-olds that I know though who are so much wiser than me. I would like to engage them in hushed conversations in a dark corner of coffee shop pondering Life and Love away. That I don't do. There are things you simply just figure out for yourself.
That's what I'm doing now. Figuring things out. Changing. Planning (as if!) Embracing it joyously or sometimes not joyously at all. I'd be lying if I tell you I got this. Far from it, I'm lost. Very, very lost. But strangely happy. I have never felt so alive.
"Happiness is a warm gun," John Lennon said. Amen, sir! What is sadness then? I seriously don't know. All I know is I'm sad. Not depress but sad. Not angry sad. Just sad. Good ole' sadness. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Maybe I'm happy because I'm sad. I used to be like that. I probably still am like that.
There are certain kinds of sadness that you will never outgrow. They come without warning. They come while you're satisfied with everything in your Life. They come and go. You thought you've banished them forever, but they come when you least expect them to.
That's what I'm doing now. Figuring things out. Changing. Planning (as if!) Embracing it joyously or sometimes not joyously at all. I'd be lying if I tell you I got this. Far from it, I'm lost. Very, very lost. But strangely happy. I have never felt so alive.
"Happiness is a warm gun," John Lennon said. Amen, sir! What is sadness then? I seriously don't know. All I know is I'm sad. Not depress but sad. Not angry sad. Just sad. Good ole' sadness. I'm happy and sad at the same time. Maybe I'm happy because I'm sad. I used to be like that. I probably still am like that.
There are certain kinds of sadness that you will never outgrow. They come without warning. They come while you're satisfied with everything in your Life. They come and go. You thought you've banished them forever, but they come when you least expect them to.
By principle, I try hard not to cry when things in my life go awry. I always do my best to man up and face it or ignore it and run away(the latter is more common.) Certain books, movies, and loyal stories of animals make me cry though regardless of how well my life is going. Recently, I've realized that losing football matches make me cry too.
I want to have as little drama as possible. To be honest, I complicated my life before forcing myself to feel things when there wasn't really anything at all. Emptiness is a scary feeling, but I'm not going to talk about that. I don't think I am a sentimentalist; no matter how hard some of my friends wish it to be. Ha! That's why it surprises me that there are a lot of things, after all, that make me cry.
Last Monday, I burst into tears after reading a Yahoo article about Manchester United losing the title this season. It wasn't a shocker. Manchester City was on top of the table by goal difference already. This was after we lost our 8-point lea, after being beaten for two games, one of which was a loss to City, and drawn one. But I was hoping, and I was trying so hard to believe that we can still win our 20th title. Such was the Manchester United way. We always had a spirit that was unmatched, a spirit worthy of a cheesy Hollywood sports film. If you look at our club's history, you will see the defiance and the will to not go down without a fight. You really can't blame me. A Red will always believe. We lost though. We lost.
It was a victory that would have really been sweet. This season was also one of the more exciting seasons to date since years of following the Premier League. To win it would have been enough to silence critics even for a time. It would have been another chance to silence the 'noisy neighbors.'
Not this time though. You can't win them all. No one can win it all. Even footballing giants, Barcelona, only won one trophy this year.
This loss only confirms two things. There is no wonder why football is the world's most popular sport. It's a shame the Philippines is missing out on it (or not! I survived the past days because no one talked about it in the office) Second, once a Red Devil, always a Red Devil except if you're Cristiano Ronaldo or Carlos Tevez.
We will be back next season.
 |
| Glory, Glory, Man United! |
There is no feeling comparable to stepping out of a shower, playing your favorite artist for the moment, and settling down with a book. That's contentment and happiness in a nutshell.
Enjoy Gotye's Hearts a Mess. ♥
Enjoy Gotye's Hearts a Mess. ♥
I've never been stuck in the past. Failed relationships are failed relationships so I discard them like used paper. The past should be seen in two lights: the nostalgic past and the BORING past. Let the boring past bore you. To do this, always take your time in moving on but know the difference between taking your time and just plainly wanting to get stuck.
Remember this: We are intrepid. We carry on. - Claire.
Remember this: We are intrepid. We carry on. - Claire.
I woke up today and realized it's the second of March. The burning temperature outside and my insatiable yearning for the beach should have warned me that the days are changing pretty fast. And I say this without drama or superficiality, different from how I usually remark about Time before, I can't believe it's March.
***
And I can't help but look at my first post of the year and the things I have vowed to accomplish. Well, to be honest, I didn't really vow wholeheartedly. I just tried putting structure into my life. They say that's what adults do. That's what my father told me years and years ago too but I didn't understand it then. Now, I think I know what it means. I thin it means that there are times you have to think about your future not because it's the adult thing to do but you owe it to the people around you and the people who will be around you in the future. (Insert: Kids. Baah! That's for some other post. Why do I hear my mother's voice in my head?)
So I was looking at it and not one post was I able to do. I have read only three books as of the time of writing and I'm currently on my fourth. To be fair, I read A Dance with Dragons in an intentionally excruciatingly slow pace just to shorten the time of waiting for the next book. That was a futile exercise. I am more committed than ever though. I have a time table in my head but nothing ever happens to that. I discard it when I troll on the Internet. Trolling is too much fun.
I have 10 more months to go says March. Who knows?
***
And I can't help but look at my first post of the year and the things I have vowed to accomplish. Well, to be honest, I didn't really vow wholeheartedly. I just tried putting structure into my life. They say that's what adults do. That's what my father told me years and years ago too but I didn't understand it then. Now, I think I know what it means. I thin it means that there are times you have to think about your future not because it's the adult thing to do but you owe it to the people around you and the people who will be around you in the future. (Insert: Kids. Baah! That's for some other post. Why do I hear my mother's voice in my head?)
So I was looking at it and not one post was I able to do. I have read only three books as of the time of writing and I'm currently on my fourth. To be fair, I read A Dance with Dragons in an intentionally excruciatingly slow pace just to shorten the time of waiting for the next book. That was a futile exercise. I am more committed than ever though. I have a time table in my head but nothing ever happens to that. I discard it when I troll on the Internet. Trolling is too much fun.
I have 10 more months to go says March. Who knows?
I ♥ my job. My compensation is not bad too. In fact, the only reason why my savings are a meager so and so pesos is because I've mastered spending more than earning. I'm trying to remedy that by having another part-time tutor job and I'll be getting an editing job too.
This week though is a different story. My passion for my job is put to the test. There are just too many unrealistic demands and questionable decisions. I work well under duress, you know. I can still give you outstanding results with the limited time I'm given. Give me the expectations I'm due. Do not baby sit me.
Of course, the reason why I'm even writing this is because I can't man up and tell the person because he/she is scary. Don't get me wrong I am not easily intimated but knowing what I know now, I am scared. This person is a nutcase, I tell you, with a history of ruining lives.
Destroy what destroys you. That has been a mantra I've always repeated but when faced with a nutcase, run. You'll go crazy fighting and they're pretty much broken anyway.
So there. I plan to not lose my footing over this. This period too shall pass. So I'm planning ahead now how my next four days will go. It's going to be Work + House + e-Book. No social networking. No binge eating too.
Meh - Indifference; to be used when one simply does not care.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=meh
It's the Year of the Water Dragon. I have no idea what that means because my knowledge of Chinese shenanigans is close to my sense of direction which means it's equals to zilch, nada, zero. Still, it made me have the urge to post something on my blog.
Note to self: Google Year of the Water Dragon and the exact term for Chinese... err.. hmmm... horoscope.
Because this year's brand new, like a new shirt that screams of fabric conditioner, I have convinced myself to write a list of things I should be doing this year. There are three things I want to do this year.
First, compile a list of the books I have read. Last year has been the lowest of the low in terms of reading. I believe I have read the fewest books not in my entire life but in the entire life of me relatively having a good taste in books. Yes, I risk tagging myself as having a good taste in books. Oh so what if I don't? I get bragging rights in finishing The Name of a Rose. Duh. Plus, I hate Twilight which makes me at least a tad better than the part of the self-proclaimed book readers who like it. Also, more because this is my blog. Really you have no business here if you're not a friend who would allow me a few caprices and whims.
Anyway, I hope by listing the books I've read I will be encouraged to read more. So what have I read so far this year? 1Q84, The Shining, and currently reading A Dance with Dragons. The first two books were read when I was home where there was no Internet. I think I really am in trouble here.
So there, that's the first thing I wanted to do.
Second would be to get as many valid ID's as I can and to finally get my passport. It's time to travel outside the country. Just because.
Third, I should really seriously learn how to swim. This actually does not need an explanation. Like, it doesn't.
I hope I can do all three. As I'm typing this, I know Number 3 is close to impossible. An all-too-familiar laziness is settling on my extremities already. If the world were to end 11 months from now, even a life skill such as swimming is not gonna save me. We'll see; we'll see.
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